The Lovely Dots Podcast
Can Music Lyrics Affect Behavior? Exploring Music’s Impact with Taylor Swift’s Anti-Hero
YouTube: Check out our parody music video "Own Your Story" - A Taylor Swift Anti-Hero Parody.
Ever wondered how music weaves its magic into the fabric of our emotions and identities? Niki & Amy journey through the symphony of life's soundtrack to uncover how melodies can drastically shape who we are and how we feel. From the dopamine rush that tunes trigger in our brains to the potential pitfalls of sonic addiction, we ponder the integral role that music plays in our everyday existence.
This episode isn't just about the notes that hit our ears; it's a candid look at music's ripple effect on our perceptions and the way we raise our children amidst a sea of evolving pop culture. We discuss how artists like Taylor Swift navigate the complexities of growing up in the public eye, and what that means for young fans. The narrative of her song "Antihero" sparks a deeper contemplation on the messages we consume and the importance of maintaining an open dialogue with our loved ones about them.
Finally, we wrap up with a heartfelt conversation on overcoming the mental hurdles that music can sometimes reinforce. It's a reminder that we're not just passive listeners but active participants in curating the soundtrack of our lives. Join us as we share personal anecdotes, expert insights, and laughter—all with the aim of inspiring you to make each note count in the grand composition of your own life's journey.
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YouTube: Check out our parody music video "Own Your Story" - A Taylor Swift Anti-Hero Parody.
Ever wondered how music weaves its magic into the fabric of our emotions and identities? Niki & Amy journey through the symphony of life's soundtrack to uncover how melodies can drastically shape who we are and how we feel. From the dopamine rush that tunes trigger in our brains to the potential pitfalls of sonic addiction, we ponder the integral role that music plays in our everyday existence.
This episode isn't just about the notes that hit our ears; it's a candid look at music's ripple effect on our perceptions and the way we raise our children amidst a sea of evolving pop culture. We discuss how artists like Taylor Swift navigate the complexities of growing up in the public eye, and what that means for young fans. The narrative of her song "Antihero" sparks a deeper contemplation on the messages we consume and the importance of maintaining an open dialogue with our loved ones about them.
Finally, we wrap up with a heartfelt conversation on overcoming the mental hurdles that music can sometimes reinforce. It's a reminder that we're not just passive listeners but active participants in curating the soundtrack of our lives. Join us as we share personal anecdotes, expert insights, and laughter—all with the aim of inspiring you to make each note count in the grand composition of your own life's journey.
www.LovelyDots.com
Facebook
Instagram
YouTube
Welcome to the Lovely Dots podcast, where we believe that our words matter giving you proof that you can change the world one word at a time, and you get to be 100% real. Don't you like that fun?
Speaker 1:Welcome back to the Lovely Dots podcast. I'm Amy, I'm Nikki and today we are talking about music and our hope is that we can kind of talk about how it influences us maybe positively, negatively but ultimately we just want people to be intentional about thinking how it might affect them, because I think sometimes we don't think about too much yeah, I think it's really just an afterthought.
Speaker 2:All of us are just like, oh, this sounds really awesome, but in actuality and there's plenty of proof behind this I think anyone who really thinks through this a little will agree. Music really deeply affects us, whether it's just our mood or our overall perspective on life. Music is so transformative and I think we take that super. We take it lightly, like all the time, so we're just going to do a deep dive into what is actually happening. How deeply does this actually affect us? Should we be worried about any of this at all?
Speaker 1:And, ultimately, no judgment. We love you guys and we just want kind of to encourage you to take an introspective look at maybe if music or the things that you are listening to and putting into your heart and mind are affecting you, or maybe just be a little introspective and willing to hear us out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I guess let's start off with a little bit of the science behind it. So what did you find out when you started looking into this?
Speaker 1:So I mean we could start by talking about dopamine. Um kind of the research shows that when we listen to music, um, it releases dopamine in our brain. And I also read too, somewhere that, unlike other things that we experience in life, music is experienced in almost all parts of our brain, whereas you know how like we have different we have left brain, right brain, our amygdala, hypothalamus, all these different things that are utilized for different purposes but music utilizes almost all parts of our brain that's fascinating isn't that interesting.
Speaker 1:But this dopamine release, um, our bodies like dopamine, right, so you can get dopamine from a lot of different things. You know some of us are addicted to caffeine. Um, me, it's me, but like you, different things that you know. We give our body that our body likes and then we continue to like, go back to it.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Similar with music.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What have you found?
Speaker 2:I've also found that people or learned that people that are low in dopamine, so like I guess there are certain vitamins like vitamin D3, I is part, partly affected partly affects this dopamine level as well. Interesting that if you are low in that, then you are in low in dopamine. You're more addictive in personality, like you will claim that you have an addictive personality more likely.
Speaker 2:So things like you know chocolate or you know even bigger things like drugs or whatever become more addictive, the lower you have of dopamine in your system, like as a baseline In return, you know if you're, if you are really into music or really into things more auditory and things like that like it's not just food or just substance.
Speaker 1:So you're going to put in your body and it's things like that you can become addicted to that You're put into your, to your mind. I mean, I think that's why social media is so addictive, because it's like you can almost either numb out and just like I don't have to worry about anything else right now and I can just keep scrolling there's something to that or like what we watch or what we view on the Internet even.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's plenty of people talking about the detriment to our society because of all that sure?
Speaker 1:yeah, well, I think it's interesting to think about music, and if I compare music to art, what does that like bring up for you if I say music is art?
Speaker 2:I mean totally. I to me like growing up as the artist or self-proclaimed artist. You know, it's like there's music, um, which is huge, but then there's like physical art with like painting and then there's, like you know, dancing and things like that there are, and in expression in general. It's so important to our culture and our society.
Speaker 2:You know how we're moving forward as people and all those things that you could go on and on about, but, um, I just think that it is an art, but I also think that um people don't listen to it as an art majority of people. I don't think they find their genre or their artists that they really like okay, and I think they're drawn to them for a different reason than it's not art, right, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, in my thinking about art, the purpose of art is to elicit an emotion, right, right. Or to bring something out in you, like someone doesn't paint a painting without emotion behind it. I don't think, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the same idea behind why people write a musical piece right, and I think that music can bring out that emotional responsiveness. The other thing, too, that you kind of hinted at was, um, it makes you want to move your body, like scientifically. Something about it makes you want to move, right. I mean some kinds of music, others are like that makes me want to sleep.
Speaker 1:You know, which is not a bad thing, but it can evoke emotion, it can evoke physical movement, like dancing, and then it can also elicit, like memories and experiences that you have tied to specific music.
Speaker 2:That's true, like you were saying, where it connects all of your brain, which is insanely powerful to think about. That's one of the only mediums that does that for saying where it connects all of your brain, which is insanely powerful to think about.
Speaker 1:that's one of the only mediums that does that do you have any music in your life that, like you hear that song and it takes you back to a certain time or reminds you of something?
Speaker 2:yeah, like 90 million different songs pretty much. There's this song called walking on broken glass. Are you gonna sing it for us? Oh, oh, nobody wants that. But it makes me think of like being a little itty-bitty girl. In my first dance recital we did a routine, that song, and so like I hear it on the radio and you know it's instant joy, you know, like it doesn't matter what's happening. That song is joy for me and it has nothing to do with what the song is about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that for me, and it has nothing to do with what the song is about, yeah, but that is interesting, that it's like not necessarily related to like what the words say or whatever, but, yeah, the experience you have with it, yeah, we. So. My dad was a firefighter, my mom was a nurse and so sometimes they worked like opposite shifts of each other and a lot of times when we would come home as kids and get off the bus and come inside, my dad would be playing ABBA.
Speaker 1:That like 70s band and um Dancing Queen that was one of like his favorite songs. So whenever that music was playing we knew that dad was cleaning the house, so like it almost elicits that lemony smell of like cleaning product for me but then, like that continued throughout our lives. And um, at my brother's wedding, we requested they play Dancing Queen and, like all of our family, our extended family was on the dance floor singing and screaming this song.
Speaker 2:And then, at my dad's funeral, as we left, like that was the song that we played because it just reminded us of him and there was that connection, for us yeah, yeah, which has nothing to do with what the song is actually about. Absolutely not. My dad is not a dancing queen, I think.
Speaker 1:Like to see my dad on the dance floor at my brother's wedding dancing to that song. I was like what?
Speaker 2:Who are you? Once in a lifetime.
Speaker 1:Exactly yeah, I got to be front row seat to that, but yeah.
Speaker 2:I think, that's not true for most of the time, like our two examples, really, I think are maybe outliers, whereas the majority of music, even if we don't think about what the words are saying, I think they do affect us and that they are a part of why we like it or what we're intaking and the way it makes us feel, our mood change and things like that. And I could be wrong, but that is definitely something that I am guessing. That is definitely something that I'm guessing.
Speaker 1:Okay, so when I was kind of doing some research about this music stuff, I found a quote on psychiatryorg. They were talking about how music affects you and I'm going to just read it because I want to get it right. So what it said was recent research suggests that music engagement not only shapes our personal and cultural identities, but it also plays a role in mood regulation. So do you think that? What do you think about that?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean it's totally obvious to me because you know I can, I know I use music for that. So, like um, I have been guilty of dancing to, you know, a certain Meghan Trainor, or you know I love the girl power, girl support pop type stuff, because it changes my mood.
Speaker 2:I feel like sassier confident like just a little bit more in my like element, and I love doing that sometimes when I'm getting ready, you know so, and that's mood regulation right there, and whether I'd call it that at the time or not, that's happening.
Speaker 1:So I feel like, when I'm feeling not motivated to clean my house, if I can turn on some music that I connect with and that I love, then I'm so much more motivated to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like it's an uplifter. Yeah, and it breaks you out of that. Like feeling, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it breaks you out of that like oh feeling yeah For sure it is interesting too that it said that, like part of our identity, our personal and cultural identity can be wrapped up in music.
Speaker 2:I see that in certain segments of our culture of like certain certain music styles and what they talk about and how they view women, how they view child raising, like all kinds of these things that they talk about in these songs, become like the go to.
Speaker 1:This is what we do because we hear about it every day in our it's in our culture, it's like culturally, like you hear about it and it's in their songs and culturally.
Speaker 2:Like you hear about it and it's in their songs and yeah, it like makes it pervasive, some of these, the ways that they they decide are proper to act in life, because you hear it in all the music songs, because it's across TV and movies and everything. But it just makes it a little bit more like well, everybody's doing it, so this is how it's done, whether you think about it or not, whether it's subconscious that you're taking it in or not like yeah, I mean, that's just what I see. What do you think?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that I think we can all agree that there's so many genres of music and it's interesting that you know in everyday life sometimes that we can make comments about what we think isn't appropriate, like like this would not be an appropriate thing to do or a way to behave. We have music that speaks almost the opposite of it, sometimes of that, and it's like we perpetuate and we support and condone that. So it's it's just this interesting juxtaposition of what maybe we think or feel believe is potentially appropriate, but then we also are like, okay with this music right, like nobody is really critiquing that.
Speaker 2:As, hey, we said, we said we didn't want to act like this over here. We said we didn't want to. I don't know. Support, support people sleeping around. But yet all of these songs we support, you know, because that's what it talks about, and a lot of our popular music. And you know, something that I think we really want to add for sure is that we're not shaming or trying to make anybody feel guilty by talking about these types of things. Um, because certainly, like we listen to all kinds of music, it's just more of a conversation about how is this really affecting us as a society, as a culture, and personally with our thought processes. How is this making us better people?
Speaker 1:And it kind of goes back, I guess, in my brain, to that. We talked about this last episode. Like for every one negative thought you have, you have to outweigh it with at least four positive thoughts to just bring balance back into your life. And I think that that is similar to what we're inputting into our brains. You know, if it's not necessarily positive, you know maybe you don't think that it affects you that much, but it's going to take that much more positive things, like we're just hoping to encourage you to maybe challenge yourself, and you're thinking and like okay, like maybe I listen to this music, am I outweighing it with more positivity than like something that could be negatively harming?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember this conversation I had with my husband a long while ago because when we first met, we were both like gym rats, which is the first time I've ever said that about myself, which is really weird.
Speaker 2:But, um, we were like there all the time. It's just what we love to do in that season of our life. Isn't that how you guys met? Yeah, yeah, and so for wine, yay, um, anyway. So you know, of course, like when you're working out, you want to listen to music, stuff that's gonna amp you up right you want to get pumped up and for me you know I'm going back to this like girl sassy like that's how I wanted to feel, or I was listening to podcasts. Who does that?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, oh yeah learn about spiderman.
Speaker 2:I loved it um anyway. So he was not that way. Uh, he likes the really like heavy metal angry to me. I'm calling it angry um.
Speaker 1:Other people may not but that's just like your perception of my what you hear, yeah.
Speaker 2:I hear it and I get angry, so maybe that's why. But I, you know, and I one day I said to him I was like how does this make you feel after you've listened to this for an hour and a half? Like, do you feel like powerful, I'm gonna go take over the world, or is it like angry, intense and anxious? And because I feel that way and you know, for a long time he just didn't really want to listen to that. But then eventually he's like yeah, I kind of realized like after I was done working out like I was, I was not in this positivity mindset at all.
Speaker 2:I was not thinking my. My mood wasn't like, yeah, that's good man.
Speaker 1:And your husband is pretty typically like that.
Speaker 2:He's like life's good. Life is good Personality yeah.
Speaker 1:Interesting yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean it definitely is a mood changer for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, if you need a good cry, to get a good cry out. There's songs out there that you just know are going to get you you know that's like every song for me right now.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, you can act on a deep level.
Speaker 1:On a deep level.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not sure what they are half the time, but Awesome yeah.
Speaker 1:In regards to ruminating on things and thinking on things or dwelling on things, do you think that music is like plays a part in that, or can play a part in that if we allow it to? Oh for sure.
Speaker 2:I mean, everybody's had a song stuck in their head, right, um, and that's just really interesting to me, especially like in my case, because and I don't know if y'all do this too, but it'll be a song where I like I don't know all the lyrics, but I know enough that it's like that one part is stuck in my head and then I wonder like, why am I singing about? No, like something ridiculous that has nothing to do with my life whatsoever right right earlier we were talking about this song from the 80s.
Speaker 1:That was a huge hit and I never really stopped to realize that the lyrics were like talking about the guy who's a stalker yeah, and it's not every breath you take song, so then I could sing just about half the lyrics and now it's stuck in my head yeah, thank you but yeah, it is interesting because, like, if you don't pay attention necessarily or dive in deep, which some of us, that's our habit, is we just we like music because it's catchy and we don't necessarily dive in deep to it.
Speaker 2:But yeah, thinking on things there, it sticks with you yes, which can be really bad, because you may not realize that you're seeing or thinking about something that maybe isn't aligned with the person you want to be, and that does affect you, whether you like it to or not on a subconscious level, at the very minimal level, it affects you for sure.
Speaker 1:I think that's ultimately what we're trying to get at. Is that what we input into our hearts and our minds should be something that helps us grow into the person that we want to be right, and things like music with negative connotations or undertones of things that maybe aren't helpful in growing us that way, we should just be more conscious of for sure, like allowing that in yeah, I think that's very much the case so we kind of talked about, or we're getting to the point of, like, some ways that music can negatively affect you, maybe on a level that we don't think about very often, um, and one of those is that it can change our perspective or our view of other people in the world because of what we're listening to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially like cultures you're not a part of. I think it really formulates opinions around that that's true which can be super dangerous. Yeah, and I know it had for me before I was grown enough to go actually be somewhere where there's lots of cultures. I think that's something definitely to look out for.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to think of a good example. I think that it just If you don't have interactions with people who are different than you on a regular basis, but you are from media or from music, different things only getting a one-sided story or a perspective that is maybe stereotypical and it doesn't align what is actually true, because you haven't had that experience yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you have a preformed thought almost about somebody else or the world. Yeah, Like you have.
Speaker 2:you have a preformed thought almost about somebody else, or or the world, yeah, yeah, can you think of any like music that's really done that for you?
Speaker 1:Okay, this is silly, but I'm not a country music fan. Don't come at me please. I never really happened, but my perspective, just from the like few songs that I've heard of country music, is like we like to eat chicken on someone's porch and pray to god and and america. You know like that's just what, from a few songs, can change my perspective about somebody. You know, yeah, and that's not true. I know it's not yeah no, totally, no, totally.
Speaker 2:I uh. So funny story, Um, when I first moved to New York, um, and I was going to college there, I was the only Canton only. Midwestern, even at this, uh, very big table of students and they were all from like the East coast somewhere. Yeah, and they're like fascination with me being from Kansas was tied to this country music perspective that you have. So they would ask me questions like do you even have a car? Like did you have like lots of dogs and live on like a dirt road?
Speaker 1:and like like all.
Speaker 2:All of this was like super assumed, like this is how everybody in the midwest lives yeah it's just really intriguing to me.
Speaker 1:I'm like no you don't even know. Yeah, and I do think music too can tend to like. It can change your ways of thinking in a positive way or negative way, depending on what you're inputting on a daily basis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:I think you have to be really cognizant of what that's doing. The other thing, too, about music is I think sometimes I know I've done this is you hear a song that is like so relatable and you feel like this song was written about you, oh yeah. Or it's like you feel like you're so connected to it that it almost like you internalize it and it becomes part of your story.
Speaker 1:Yeah it that it almost like you internalize it and it becomes part of your story. Yeah, and I think in some like music, like there's some things that are like positive and can connect in that way, but there's other things that, like we can internalize. It's like, yeah, this artist just gets me and it's like, I don't know, putting that on yourself maybe isn't always the best idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's definitely not because it's like you said earlier, you're tying that emotional connection to the person, but then also like having that as your anthem, and I feel like we tend to do that in points in our lives where it's like we need that, because we feel down for some reason because, we're struggling for some reason, need that, because we feel down for some reason, because we're struggling for some reason, and I sort of I get that that helps and that I really feel like feeling like you have that sense of belonging does help you get through those things and that's why music can be so healing. I also think that it can get to a place where it keeps you stuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah from that emotion moving into a place of like getting help or or healing. Yeah, yeah, for sure, and I don't think people talk about that yeah yeah, because I mean why, if in the moment it makes you feel good, our tendency is not to think like, well, this couldn't be bad at all if it makes me feel good, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, a hundred percent. It's just back to what we're saying about being like intentional. This is leading me to where I want to go, and sometimes we just want to be stuck in the moment for a little bit and I'm not saying that's wrong either. Sure, where this?
Speaker 1:leads us is we kind of wanted to talk about the like most famous and culturally relevant woman in the world right now. Um, at least I guess from my perspective Taylor Swift, obviously. I mean she's this past year done the eras tour, which has been a worldwide um musical tour. People in countries all over the world know who she is and connect and relate to her music on a deep level, I think. Um, and then with her dating Travis Kelsey this year, I think it like brings it even closer to home for a lot of people in the Midwest.
Speaker 1:So she has basically created a career from the time she was a teen until now in her 30s. That has almost risen above some, maybe, norms in the music industry. She's stepped out of her initial genre that she was in and I think she got a lot of hate or like discouragement from people in the industry while she was trying to do that, and I think she's risen above a lot of things as a woman and taking some steps in her musical career. So I think what we want to talk about is not anything to bash Taylor, because I think Taylor is a genuine human being. I think it's valuable. She has some music that maybe we can help you guys understand some of the ways that it could, without you even knowing, affect your thinking Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just as an example, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, so, yeah, this is an example, for sure. Yeah, well, and it's interesting to me that taylor I think I was in middle school or high school when she started her career she's like a year older than me, if I'm remembering correctly but she has had this long-lasting career that now spans like generations, like her audience is a huge audience, from young girls to adult people. Like it's just fascinating that someone can continue to grow their audience.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean usually artists like they become yeah like a niche, yeah, kind of thing why do you think that is with her?
Speaker 1:I think, because, like at least my perspective, I think that her audience has grown with her as she's grown and matured and I think people now can maybe respect the not just going with the flow-ness that she kind of stepped outside the box a little bit maybe. She kind of stepped outside the box a little bit maybe. But the other thing too, I think is like now these moms that like grew up with her are excited to maybe share that with their kids and can have like some kind of connection and relationship through that with their family.
Speaker 2:I guess yeah, that makes sense so it's like brought into the audience that she has. Yeah, I don't know so, as a mom, how do you, in knowing Taylor's work, how do you feel about that, as if that were Olivia's favorite?
Speaker 1:artist. That's the thing that I have struggled with, because as Taylor has aged and matured, obviously so has her content and her music story, storytelling that she puts out there. I mean, I think that's to be expected. She has more life experience, um, but that is a little bit like concerning to me for, like thinking about Olivia, like there's definitely songs that are so fun and not harmful at least in my perspective that I'm okay with like sharing with Olivia, but and I I'm not like die hard Taylor Swift fan like I'll listen to her stuff. I there's definitely albums where I have not heard any of her music.
Speaker 1:But when the most recent album came out, um, I was listening to it on Spotify and I wish that I would have listened to it when I was alone, because I was listening to it when Olivia was in the car with me and there was a song that there were multiple words in it that I would have preferred Olivia to not hear and obviously I stopped the music and stuff. But she was like can we listen to that again? And like she's so naive that like she I don't even think noticed it Right, but like as a mom, like I was like man, that's kind of hard because, like she has to know that there's young girls listening to her music but I guess that doesn't, you know sway her from what she's going to write. You know she puts out what she's going to put out and allows people to determine if they're going to listen to it.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I don't know. And there's certain things too that, like, I don't want my daughter to think about herself because of some of the things that music in general might make her believe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think that that is. I mean, obviously, as a girl, all woman I have the female perspective. So I think about that for my future daughter in a different way than I, than I do for my son.
Speaker 2:Not that I don't protect them in the same way or want to at this age, since they're so young, but that really is a balance of understanding that, like, this is a culture that we live in, this is society, and that there is no escaping that. And you, you, you can protect a certain amount, but in reality, they're going to get out there. So it's like, at what point do you make them understand that this is?
Speaker 2:you know what they're speaking about in music, this is what's out there, this is what your peers will listen to, this is what you will be around this is the reality of where we live, but this doesn't mean that you have to take in these ideas or these principles, or whatever it is, as truth or as the way that you have to live, and you know that really, I guess just comes back to something that's like a teachable moment, but I do think that it is a very interesting predicament and not to say that other generations didn't have this sure they did, yeah, but you know, just being bombarded by it all the time, and I think younger ages now, yeah, um, those conversations are different.
Speaker 2:So you know, like with your daughter, of course she is going to be with other girls. They're like oh, I love Taylor Swift it's best ever you know fangirl it all the time like how do you approach that?
Speaker 1:and like yeah, I talk about it.
Speaker 1:That's hard and we've kind of encountered that with a lot of things and um, with both our son and our daughter and talking about like you know what mommy and daddy love you so much that we're going to always tell you the truth.
Speaker 1:You know, um, and we want you to come to us.
Speaker 1:Like that's the ultimate thing, I guess, for me. This is just my soapbox here, but like my hope for my relationship with my children is that they know we live in a world where we're not going to agree with everybody and everything that they say or do, and that's okay. We can still love people that are different from us or that don't agree with what we believe. But I want to create this and cultivate an atmosphere where they can feel like they can come and talk to us about it and that they're not going to get in trouble, or like the mommy and daddy want to listen and help them know what we believe to be true, and so we've encountered that already, like so and so said this, and their mom and dad let them do this and and I'm like, yeah, you know, like I understand, and that's okay, because that's what their mommy and daddy are allowed to tell their kids what they can and can't do, or what you know, guide them in that direction, and that's what mom and dad have the privilege of doing for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So in relation to music or in what they're allowed to view and interact with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, well, I think that's good. Good relation to music or in what they're allowed to view and interact with. Yeah, yeah, well, I think that's good, good job.
Speaker 1:Many more years. Our kids are young, you know you, I do know I do know there's so much.
Speaker 2:there is so much because it's like such a dichotomy of like you don't want them to miss out on the fun but you also want them to to have a and sound mind, you know, by the time they get through their teenage years, yeah, which you know. Speaking from a past teenager, I can say, like you know, there's plenty of stuff that were, you know, I didn't have any guidance through, just not because my parents were bad, because they didn't think about it yeah, you know, and I don't think many people did, yeah, because they didn't think about it.
Speaker 2:You know, and I don't think many people did, and yeah, and you know, just understanding, like what is what is going to serve you well in culture and what is not, and like having these conversations about thinking through, yeah is this true?
Speaker 1:is this, yeah, helpful, yeah, helpful. And I think, in regards to music, especially as a mom, like I think it's important that, um, we're able to stand behind, like what we're inputting into our hearts and minds. Because, you know, if I'm gonna like just listen to all this junk when my kids aren't with me and it comes out in the way that I talk, act or think, but then I'm telling them, well, you can't do this, do this, you can't do that, or like you know, mommy and daddy, no, that's not good for you, like it's like I'm yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not, yeah, not living up to what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the word yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's huge too, and and for me, you know I've been thinking about that in the same way when it comes to what to listen to in the car. What is? It really is interesting that having kids makes you think about those things in ways that I don't. I personally didn't before yeah um, but I like where you're going with this um, this Taylor Swift and and comparing and talking about some of her musical lyrics and about how that could possibly affect you.
Speaker 2:So what parts are you thinking are good examples of how that can change your mood or lead you in a different belief system?
Speaker 1:that might not be helpful first let me just preface in talking about this song that we're going to just kind of touch on here. I do think that Taylor wrote this song in a genuine like. This was her experience, that she was able to use as a musical storyteller. Yeah, and I don't diminish what she experienced. I think maybe there's some depression or anxiety that's involved in writing of this song and I can't imagine being as famous as she is and potentially feeling really lonely sometimes yeah you know, like, do people really love me because of who I am or because of who they think I am?
Speaker 1:you know, and so as we talk about this, the purpose is to just think about okay, if I am connecting with this song, is that healthy or what things do I need to be thinking about, kind of thing. Yeah, so this is a song that, um, you guys are probably going to be able to instantly start singing. It's called Antihero by Taylor and it's really catchy, super catchy it's. It's a song that makes you want to sing it, or you can like the chorus gets stuck in your head.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so that is just the area that is a little bit concerning because of how it talks. She, like, maybe, is talking about herself. Obviously this is an experience that she's had. But the first line that I kind of want to talk about she says I should not be left to my own devices. They come up with prices and vices and then I end up in crisis up in crisis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean well, and I feel like that's just a statement of like I'm. I'm hopelessly in my own self and I can't stop what I'm doing, because every time I do, whatever it is, it leads to bad stuff where I want to just numb myself or whatever it is with vices. Yeah, it feels like stuck in a hole type of a thing and hopelessly there.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And then she says I wake up screaming from dreaming. One day I'll watch as you're leaving because you got tired of my scheming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that makes me so sad.
Speaker 1:It's like you just like living in this fear of losing someone because of who you are, or like what you're struggling with and going through.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but in like hopeless to stop it like just a freight train going and I sort of had this inkling and I don't know if this was intentional or not, but with those lyrics it feels like. It feels like she's saying I'm stuck in this hole, this is just who I am. There is no changing or hope. This is how it is.
Speaker 1:So it just sucks. And I can honestly say, like from being in a depression related to like grief and things in recent years, it can feel so hopeless when you're stuck in a depression or you have this crippling anxiety, like it feels like there's no hope or no way out until you, until you speak it out and ask for help, yeah, or else it's just like this perpetuation, yeah, of being stuck like a hamster on a wheel. Do you feel?
Speaker 2:like as someone who's been there. This song gives you permission to stay.
Speaker 1:I kind of feel like it does. Like I feel like when I first heard this song, when we get to the chorus you maybe understand why, but like it felt so relatable and it was like this is me, like you know, and it doesn't help you get out of where that place of maybe depression is, it is maybe in the moment like feels, like you can connect to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, but I don't that's. I think what we're saying is like you know what we're putting into our minds. Is it going to help move us forward or is it going to keep us in a place like that? So the main chorus says it's me, hi, I'm the problem.
Speaker 2:It's me at tea time yeah, which is maybe an assumption.
Speaker 1:It could just be that you know she feels this way so she, yeah, like not everybody agrees, but she just assumes like I'm the problem and that's everybody must think that, yeah, I suck, there it is. But I can relate to that too, like you feel like, well, I'm the problem. If I wasn't the issue here, then, if I wasn't a part of the picture, then maybe things would be better for everybody else yeah and something that maybe she's just putting on herself you know, yeah, yeah, and I can relate to that.
Speaker 1:But like, while this tune is fun and like super catchy, and you're singing that over and over, you're.
Speaker 2:You're internalizing that you are the problem and I, yeah, I can see that that, like as an art, as the reflection of her human experience. The song is beautiful in a sense, but as a something that you're going to potentially ruminate on, potentially sing over and over again, dance around in the kitchen too, you're essentially putting in toxic thinking by saying I'm the problem, there is no way out, this is who I am Essentially a low, like some low level of pride that this is where you're stuck and you're not going anywhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like there's you have no self-worth or you know, like you can't be confident in the fact that you know that maybe I am a mess, but I am still worthy of being loved and being cared for, right where I'm at Right. And that's not like there. And then she said this is interesting too like the lyric next says, I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. Like she's so willing to like be blinded, to like looking internally. And I think we do that. Yeah, we do. Like we're so, like we don't want to look inside ourselves and like make the changes, because it's hard to do that. It's just easier to be blind to who we are and maybe the things we're doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's 100% easier. Like it takes work to do some of the things we're talking about, and I don't, you know, I don't think that it's talked about enough that there is a beauty and a joy and a further peace on the other side of that work and that it's worth it. It's not just like work you should do because this is the right thing. Like we're not saying that. We're saying we want like all right, like jesus died for us to have life and that isn't just eternal life when we die, that is now, that is here and now.
Speaker 2:Like we have so much of this stuff blocking that, and part of that is like these toxic, hidden, negative messages, negative thinking, things that happen on the subconscious level and they just, you know, go by without us noticing but they affect us deeply, Like the more we can do the work to understand what's going on, flip the script, the more we experience the life that we were meant to have.
Speaker 1:And I don't think that that means that I'm going to have everything I want. I'm going to like I'm going to just be fixed, Because, like, that's not it. Like we're not projects to be fixed, Right, that's not it. Like we're not projects to be fixed, that's not what this is and that's not what we want anyone to think about themselves. But realizing that we were made for so much more and that, like, God gives us that opportunity, yeah, and we just have to, like take it. And I think we like to sometimes wallow in I don't know if self-pity is the right word, but we like to just Our powerlessness yeah.
Speaker 1:Like we're like oh, this is just the way it is. Or or we take ownership of it and say this is who I am. And that is not true, like that's. That's what Satan wants you to believe. He wants you to believe that you're the anti-hero. Like you're, you are the problem. Right?
Speaker 1:you want to get stuck there yeah you know, and like I'm so hopeful for Taylor, that, like writing this song was maybe therapeutic for her and that maybe she got the help she needed if it was something that she was struggling with. But I also hope that for the people that are listening today, like yeah. I don't want you to be stuck because of, maybe, what you're allowing yourself to listen to, anything other than the truth of who you are, who God says you are yeah, yeah, because you can.
Speaker 2:you can have the peace, you can have the joy, you can get to the other side of depression and anxiety. There are lots of methods and strategies behind that. It's just a matter of believing that and having hope, and I think that's one of our points with going through. This antihero song is really that I hope she's found it, but there is hope and you don't have to feel stuck in it and you don't have to sit there and become. This is who I am. There is hope for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I just would encourage you. Maybe you're struggling not necessarily with music, but maybe you're struggling just with depression or anxiety. Ask for help or tell somebody, because there's so much freedom in speaking out what you're struggling with inside, because it can feel life-threatening sometimes with how deep in depression that we can get and if we're not speaking about it to anybody then we can continue to spiral and get lost in that. But if we can speak it to somebody that's trusted and that we know loves us and and cares about us, there's so much freedom in speaking that out and then it can help you take steps to get help yeah, your life could be a hundred percent different or an a degree different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it can be over 100%. By this time, like a year from now, you could think, wow, I can't believe that. This is how far I've come. It just takes simple, habitual, intentional steps towards that, and that means different things for different people. But we want to give you hope that there is better. I mean, if you or someone you know is struggling, we truly believe that, that there is hope for that.
Speaker 1:There is, and so with music, we think that it can affect you positively, depending on what it is. It can affect you negatively. We want to challenge you to think about that and be introspective and just be willing to sit with yourself. I think that's hard, introspective, and just be willing to sit with yourself. I think that's hard to do sometimes. Just sit with yourself and acknowledge what is it that I'm struggling with? Because maybe it's not music, maybe it's something else in your life. But, um, again, it goes back to what. What voices are we listening to to have an effect on who we are and who we're becoming, and does that align with who you really want to be?
Speaker 2:So I couldn't have said it better.
Speaker 1:We're thankful that you guys are here listening with us and we hope to maybe dive in deeper or on a different topic related to this at some point in the future, but yeah, yeah, but for now, thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:Be sure to subscribe, subscribe, like and follow us. We have a lot coming up and some funny little things added to our little music episode here on social media, yes, so share with a friend that maybe you think could hear this and benefit.
Speaker 1:So we love you guys. Have a great day.